Schtroumpfed!

4 Awesome

2011-01-18T23:16:00.003+08:00

When we were little we wished to grow up.

And when we're all grown up we wish that we could go through our younger years once again.

Sigh.

Haha.

I was simply editing my education information on Facebook when I stumbled upon the 'class' column. I edited the 4A'08 one and tried to add all the 4A classmates that I have on Fb but well, I figured I'd need some help recalling some 41 people, and so I opened a class photo I had uploaded there years ago.

Wow.

It's like opening a box full of memories. Seeing the happy faces, I can't help but to smile remembering my two years with the class. I know that I may not be able to recall every second I spent there, but all in all, it was a warm, happy memory.

And with the happy memory, came the longing. Hey, I kind of miss them.

We had some crazy times together. Mrs Ess' classes in a circle, greeting Mr Fam Happy Teachers Day with a rainbow afro wig and confetti party strings, hairstyling You Yue in class, it's just different, when a class is full of quirky personalities. Hey, I don't forget YY and Josh, the "singers" behind me, who sometimes debated on some general knowledge facts, or just some nonsensical things -.- Or how we always tease Lj and CJ :P or YQ and Tanya :P I wonder where all those come from, sometimes XD

I remember the times spent with some of my classmates, mugging our ass off at AMK library, getting help from Mr Luo (whose Aiyoh-I-Hate-The-Forest and Ribena-and-Co-Co-Crunch mnemonics still stick even after two years without Geography), gaining new insights and having fun in Vietnam, staying in school until late at night for the night study session...

Those are pretty memories.

I know, I remember that the two years were not always fun. There was stress, problems between friends, problems with self, but now that I look back, it was a beautiful picture overall.

As I had commented on the 4A photo on my account, it's only now that I can assess it, many teachers' comments on how their secondary school years were more meaningful than their JC ones. I had always wondered whether it'll be true for me, having spent the same length of time in both. Well, yes, secondary school is indeed quite special. And I was lucky enough to share that two years with such special people, people so different from anyone I've known before or after that.

Well, guys and girls, we're moving on, aren't we? (: Some are already overseas, and had been since after O's. Some are probably going overseas soon? Some have another year to get their diplomas, some are waiting for their A's results. Some are waiting for their enlistment date. Wherever you are, I hope that you all had had an awesome two years back then, just like I did. I'm moving on too, I'm just spending this few minutes to look back and smile (:

I saved the picture I posted on my Fb account to my computer, as I had lost its memory due to re-formatting :/ I believe I have a backup in Sg, but for now, what I have as my desktop wallpaper, is a slightly blurry (due to fb pic quality) picture of 4A'08. It somehow reminds me of how my memory had been slightly blurred over time. The warmth, however, remains.

And that's the way I'd like to remember that two years for the rest of my life.

All the best for all of us (:

I'm so gonna post this on fb as a note :/

-vNs-

A Nation's Pride

2010-12-29T23:17:00.004+08:00

I guess I'm down with it. Being in Indonesia, it's difficult not to get the disease that had been attacking the nation this past weeks.

Like during any World Cup season, the nation was stricken with football-maniaism :O Just that this time we're all more hyped-up, cos although it's on a much smaller stage, the AFF (ASEAN Football Federation) Cup, it involves our very own players playing the finals! (:

Three days ago, things were quite out of control. Thousands of people wrecked havoc when the crowd management failed to control the crowds queueing to buy tickets for the finals. Shocking as it was, such mess was not really new to the nation. Disappointing, but luckily things got better after a few hours.

The first round of the finals in Malaysia was even more disappointing. With the crowds aiming lasers at the Indonesian goalkeeper and throwing firecrackers into the field, it seemed unavoidable that the goalkeeper eventually protested to the referee, leading to the match being stopped for a few minutes. Afterwards, the previously refreshed team's mental went downhill. The match ended with a score of 3-0 to Malaysia.

With the very high expectations and the long-running feud between Indonesia and Malaysia (usually stemming from claims over culture and traditions, such as batik, reog--I shall not elaborate too much lest I become too biased :P), of course everyone felt at the very least a little upset with the results. However, the football team was greeted at the airport with cheers and support from many Indonesians. That opened my eyes. The nation is maturing. Losing to its rival, the team was still loved by the people. The sense of pride is there. It wasn't much like that in the past. At that moment, I was starting to be really proud of Indonesia.

Today's match, the second round of finals, made me even more so. Well, it can't be helped that most of us Indonesians still hoped for a miracle to happen, that the team will at least scored 3-0 or more, at least giving us a chance to win the cup we had never won since 1991. The hope was threatened when the score still tied at 0-0 by half time, and almost entirely extinguished when the Malaysian team scored a goal.

But the Indonesian team pushed on. And I got worked up too. I was like, "C'mon, at least score a goal against them. Just one!" As the match continues, the crowd never stopped cheering.

Eventually, I got my wish granted! :D That actually makes things felt much better.

And all along the match, until the very last minute, the crowd never stopped cheering, the team never stopped attacking. Another goal was scored then (: At that time, however, I didn't care about the aggregate score anymore. I was proud of seeing everyone's fighting spirit. I've only seen such a spirit when the nation supported badminton, our area of specialty (or used to be? :S). To see the nation so bonded by another sports, wow.

On the other hand, the Malaysian team did really well. Their defense was always tough to break, their goalkeeper friggin difficult to pass through and their strikers were always ready to, uh, strike, of course. Their players won on stamina. Also, I notice that Indonesian players are on average shorter than their Malaysian counterparts -.- The team spirit's, however, commendable (:

Ah, that's why I love to watch sports. There are so much to observe and so much to learn or not to learn from. The laser incident, I mean. I admit, I saw the Malaysian goalkeeper getting lasered at during the finals in Jakarta too :/ Well, even for a grown-up nation, the temptation of a revenge is sweet, eh? :/ Not a good example to set, but hey, you can't totally blame that person for doing so :P It was such an obvious laser though -_-"

Well, the whole event just showed me that the nation can be really one to be proud of. Despite all the chaos that happened like racial clashes or religion ones, eventually we're still one nation.

I just hope that this spirit can be spread into other areas.

On a lighter note, some people counted that since the match between Indonesia and Malaysia before the finals ended 5-1 in favour of Indonesia, after the 0-3 and 2-1 finals, the total score will be 7-5 for Indonesia :P

Of course, the AFF Cup will have to wait for now.

Garuda di Dadaku. Wow. I'm liking that song.

-vNs-

2010-12-27T15:21:00.000+08:00

I think I'm going crazy. I can't take it anymore. Its always like that, unpleasant things always happen everytime I go back. I might as well not, so next time I better have some legitimate reasons not to go back this long for holidays. It's just sick.

Everytime it's always another proof of how true my reason of going overseas is. Freedom aside, it is true. I'm way better overseas. At least everyone's happier, and I dont feel caged.

Im seriously regretting returning only on 29 Jan. It's way too long. KS aside, I am indeed happier when I'm in sg. Even if I wasn't excitedly happy, at least I was content.

From AJail to another jail.

I have nothing left here. Just my phys olympiad friends, and theres no guarantee that we'll meet at all :/

Being upset always makes me feel like vomiting. I feel better empty.

That's it. I guess I have to act happy or something? Whatever.

-vNs-

Boom

2010-12-25T23:35:00.002+08:00

I miss you so much I feel like bursting :/

I mean, I'm happy here, my family's here, the food is awesome, there's no stress of thinking what I need to get tomorrow cos everything's provided.....but it's just not the same without you around.

I feel incomplete :/

And it's only been half a week -.- I know next year it'll be even tougher. Still, it's not like I can cry or anything, cos I'm supposed to be happy here. The result? Everything got choked up inside me :/

I know I'll hold on, like I always do. I know you will too (:

-vNs-

Roar.

2010-12-04T12:17:00.002+08:00

I CAN'T FIND MY PRELIM RESULT SLIP! :(

Roar.

Never mind, let's just apply for more now :( I got limited time!

-vNs-

Moar

2010-12-03T21:33:00.002+08:00

Bored. Again. Lol.

A bit stressed over something. Maybe cos I thought I had overcome that stumbling block this time, yet it popped out again. And I don't think I can get through it. We'll just see.

I understand that certificates serve as a concrete proof for skills, and that it's the quickest way to judge someone if you're hiring. But this whole cert thing overlooked a lot of things. Self-study is one. A different system is another.

Whatever.

I should get enough sleep :/ Strangely, I've been getting little sleep the past 3 days or so -.-"

The concert was rather nice (: Well, not all pieces are picture-perfect, I guess, but that was one of the neatest Carol of the Bells that I've heard, and the Rudolph was excellent! I think singing and clapping worked XD It was very short though. I need more. XD

Hari conducted really well. And I mean, reaaaally well. It's well enough for someone who has conducted for years, and it's superb for him who had just started conducting half a year ago! :D kyaa! *fangirl scream* HAHA XD He's got the look of a conductor too :O I knew we had our student conductor when he put that in his exco form :D but of course, I didn't know he'd be this good :D

Ok. I should...I don't know :( I want to play with ukulele pichu for a while, but I'm dead sleepy now. Haha.

-vNs-

Stone

2010-12-02T18:10:00.002+08:00

I'm so bored I wna scream :/

LOL.

After the days and weeks and months of intensive mugging session and CCAs and all, I guess I'm not used to having nothing to look forward to :( -.-"""

Yep. I found myself wishing for Prof Layton and Luke to come out of the monitor and accompany me for real -_-" or Lapras for that matter -_-"

Couldn't even take a walk since it's raining heavily outside :/

On the lighter note, I got my hands on SPAM and baked beans! :D Finally. Haha.

I guess I should go back to my games? -.-"

No Wita to spam-call or go out with :( Just spam luncheon meat to eat :(

Ok that's one pathetic pun. That's how dead I am XD

Aiya I'll get some air tomorrow, with the travels to and from embassy, and with the concert ;)

-vNs-

Post-Exam Daysss!

2010-12-02T13:01:00.003+08:00

Hmm. So how have I been since Monday? :D Awesome.

Well, right after the last paper, I have what I'll call 'post-exam sleep syndrome' :P On Monday and Tuesday I felt reaaally sleepy. Had a 5 hour nap :D Then a 9-hour night's sleep after that :D Sadly it ended there XD Yep. Went back to school for guitar camp yesterday, to see how the juniors are doing and to spend time and to help if necessary. Basically, to have fun XD

Yesterday the sectionals were canceled since Mr Choo came and I just stayed to see the SL pieces. Some were pieces my batch played before, some were new pieces. Yesterday's games were hilarious though. Highlight of the day would be Kian Cheong's act with Martin. Hm.

Hm. I sound like someone. Hm.

LOL. Anyway today I went for the sectionals in the morning, 9-11. Zuler said he overslept and so I predicted he'll reach around 10. Well, he reached 15 minutes earlier than that :P And would've been sooner if the bus wasn't that slow, he said, but I think the problem is still with the oversleeping :P

Then all of a sudden I felt hungry and asked myself, "Why do I feel hungry?"

"Oh, right. I forgot to eat breakfast!" -.-"

Was so busy looking for and photocopying the documents I will need to renew my passport tomorrow that I forgot breakfast -.-"

Well, had lunch straight away at subway after that. Then, on our way to a photo studio for my passport photos, ZL and I were stopped by Jing Jie and Ai Jia who were getting stressed over the guitar camp food game -_-" it was sort of a puzzle, the things you eat must connect with one another's syllable, like, ma'you' - 'you'tiao, etc etc. But they always get stuck without getting much food, and yeah. I give up describing this. I can just say that it was so funny, laughed until tired...XD ice biscuit. Hm. Good.

I can see the juniors bonding very well (: I realised the difference between their camp and ours last year. Their camp groups are their sectionals, and as such the sections can bond very well. Ours....we scrambled everyone up, in order to bond the whole ensemble, but maybe by doing so our sections do not bond as well as theirs? Hard to tell which one is better :///

So.......tomorrow is a busy day! I'll go to the embassy in the morning, should reach there latest by 10AM, after which I'll prepare someone special for prom XDXDXD and then I'll go for the juniors' xmas concert! (:

I prefer it that way though :/ Being alone at home isn't very nice. Well, it is nice, indeed, but not for a week straight (like when I was quarantined! XD)

Yep. I should slack till dinner time! :D

Oh yea. I sent in a job application online :P Have no idea how it'll be :////// Hope I'll get it cos it sounds fun?

I only have 3 weeks to find a job! XP Then I need to go back already, and when I return, I hope to be able to work straight away......so I am really left with 3 weeks. Hm hm.

-vNs-

Post-As

2010-11-29T23:13:00.004+08:00

Yoohoo! (:

The fight is over. As is over :D I didn't feel much excitement though, the peak of my excitement was three weeks ago, after I went through the day with both Maths and History papers :P After that everything was better.

Well, overall, Chem was difficult (and so thought everyone else), GP, Physics and History felt usual, and Maths was easier than expected. Then again, there'll be moderation and all, so I totally won't know my grades until next year in March :P

So many things to do, so little time. I need to renew my passport, practise guitar, apply for a job, etc etc. Play games too XD

Yep. Excuse me while I try to catch elekid X)

-vNs-

Last Tears

2010-11-06T20:49:00.004+08:00

It was raining when I went home. I felt so tempted to walk under the rain and let it wash my mind of my sorrow. I chucked in my history notes inside my bag so it wouldn't get wet.

And then I surprised myself by going along with my better judgment and took out my umbrella instead. "It's two days before A Levels, vNs, and you already have a cough."

I remembered around the same time two years ago I walked slowly under the rain, feeling as blue as I could ever felt.

This time, it may not be of the same magnitude (yet?), but it is the same pain.

It is not the first time he said the same thing.'

When you tell a girl something that hurts her, it will stay. Even if you don't mean it, it's been said and done. And forgiving is easier than forgetting.

Everyone's stressed. Maybe I am too, although I've seen worse cases in many.

At times like this I'm reminded of why I came here.

People who are apart from you can't hurt you. Only those around you can.

The closer you are, the larger the chance of you getting hurt.

True, they say the joy multiplies too. But I know that in many cases, distance doesn't matter. In fact, distance helped me forge better relationships with many.

I'm scared. I'm out of my comfort zone. I've been out for more than a year. Most of the times, it's alright. It was nice.

But there are moments like this that makes me feel like running away as far as I can.

I was born a single fighter. Nobody can change me, not in a year. In twenty years, maybe, but will I last twenty years?

OK. Now that I've let out what's in my mind, it's time to get back to myself.

No more. No more until 29 November, 2pm.

After that I can cry a river, cry an ocean, who cares. I can drench myself under the rain, purposely walk out in a storm.

I just need to get through these three weeks first.

-vNs-

Time

2010-11-06T08:47:00.002+08:00

Not yet. After all this is over, the bucket can spill all it wants. I can even kick it, who cares. Just not yet.

I shouldn't be down. If there is one thing I learned from AJ, it is that when you're stressed out, act on it. Your action is what matters. So I choose to put everything aside and go for the battle first. Then I can do whatever I want. Crying is now on the list. I just can't wait to finally have the time to cry. Haha.

If you can't live for your community (yet?), live for yourself. Don't do things just because others want you to. Do what you want.

And so, I'm fighting for myself.

-vNs-

The Last Leg

2010-11-02T21:36:00.002+08:00

Lonely.

As people panic for A Levels, I am feeling lonely -_-"

And I got enlightened. Did anyone ever think that loneliness breeds materialism? Well, it does not necessarily be manifested in the shopping-spree kind-of way. I just mean to say that for me, I tend to distract myself with material things when I feel lonely. Phone, laptop. Sometimes guitar and books, although somehow I find them amplifying my loneliness and so rarely resort to them.

I want to swear.

The big fight is looming ahead. Hopefully I can be a single fighter in time again. I should fight my all for that 22 days. Then I can celebrate all I want. Or cry what I want. Or do anything I want for that matter -_-"

I'm not in a very bad state either. Physics revision was done long ago. Maths was done some time ago (but need a little brushing up this week and next week). Chemistry was just done 2 days ago. This week's supposed to be for History. And a little GP. And a little Maths if I can afford to, but mainly focus on History.

I admit, when I say 'revision is done', it's still nothing compared to the level of preparation I felt I had for O Levels. But at least I've done what I can in this very limited time I spent for A's.

I should get myself mentally strengthened already.

Yet I don't have to panic. I don't need As to get where I want to (:

Of course As in Maths and GP would be much preferred :P

Am I settled, though, to go there?

Same old me. Always doubting my decisions until the very last minutes.

To everyone, including myself, fight on. Make your two years worthwhile. It's the end of your 12 years of basic education.

-vNs-

More blahblah :P

2010-10-08T09:08:00.001+08:00

S.
F.

Looks like I'm seeing doctor sooner than I thought I would :// one part if me wants to prove to myself that I can recover without seeing the doc, yet another part of me just want to get rid of the illness -.- :///

Probably seeing him after school. See my mood.

-vNs-

Blablabla

2010-10-06T20:09:00.001+08:00

After seeing the doctor three times in the span of one and a half weeks, I realised that maybe I'm stressed -.- First for a sore throat/fever, second for the worsening sore throat/fever despite medications and third for the sore throat/fever that came back with diarrhea and nausea ://

When your personal doctor tells you to watch a movie and destress, you know something is wrong :P

And so, despite the doctor being a nice guy, I hope I won't need to see him again anytime soon, at least not until the end of As! :D

If only the school thinks the way Mr Ng EH does :// Then maybe we won't be so tired, won't be lagging so much in revision and won't fall ill this often :(

Seven more school days ://

Despite it being the last few days of JC life ever, going to school is still, or even more so, of a burden -_-" With other schools on study break, trusting their students to be wise enough to do their own revision, I feel like our time spent in school for extra lessons like a cruel mockery :///

Finishing Maths TYS soon. I hope :/ XD left with 2 1/3 chapters, but that's like 33 more questions, and with such school schedule, who has a lot of time to do TYS anymore? :(

And Chem TYS is being neglected, P1&2 done, P3 untouched, since a long time ago :( I don't know how to manage Chem alr :(

My allergy is worsening these days, needing more medications than usual to suppress it ://

-vNs-

Relapse

2010-09-26T23:43:00.000+08:00

Today my eyes were reopened. For the first time, I see clearly again what was the main reason that I am here, and not in Jakarta. It's not about my dreams of going overseas (as my definition of 'overseas' was at least as far as Australia), it was a need. My dreams were built upon this need, it was amended from something else entirely. Of course, there's the thing about having to get good education to make a living in the future. That, too, was amended from a need of something I had long forgotten.

Never again shall I forget the reason. I may change my mind, but my reason for being here never changed. It had taken place, it was in the past. It happened, and it was the reason why I am here.

To think about it again, he had nothing to do with it. Haha.

vNs, be a fighter. Be a fighter that you had always envisioned yourself to be. Don't give up, don't look back.

You've got someone now.

-vNs-

Zzz

2010-09-24T15:54:00.002+08:00

Well, yesterday the cycle ends :P In the end Kai insisted on accompanying me to see the doctor, and so we went. I'm glad we went, cos today I feel much better after the medications ;) It makes me feel drowsy though -.-" If I'm not wrong all the medicine should be finished by Sunday night or so, so I won't have to fight sleepiness in school XD

Yeah, dizziness is gone! ((: So is the chills, left the sore throat (getting better) and tiredness -.-"

I kind of love the new internet connection :D it's faster, and so far I haven't been disconnected at all, not even once :D

Phew. Sometimes I'm still a bit puzzled on what I want to do in the future. I know what I like and dislike, but I don't really have a clear idea on how to make a living out of doing what I like. Well, so I like art and craft, I like to read and write, I like to edit graphics, which is why so far my top course choice is Communication and New Media. That's the only course that I think have connections to most of my likes :S I may not mind taking business or applied maths/statistics though :P Or Information Systems? I'm just not going to take engineering or sciences.

I wonder if I will make any last minute changes to the courses I apply to next year, the way I did when choosing my subject combination in JC. Mind you, if I had stuck to my plan, I would be taking Bio and Econs instead of Physics and History. To think about it again, if I'm given a second chance, I guess my subject combination will be H2 Maths+Chemistry+History and H1 Econs, or H2 Maths+History+Econs and H1 Chem/Phys. Haha. Of course now that I'm already so near to the end, I won't regret anything XD

Oh yea I just realised that all the courses that I want are from different faculties -_-"

Ah I keep stoning -.-Sleepy sleepy -.-

-vNs-

Short Blog Revival :P

2010-09-23T14:59:00.002+08:00

Today, I:

1. Took my last prelim paper.

2. Renew my internet contract. (and upgrade the speed)

3. Had a nice solo lunch at The Soup Spoon.

4. Went to place a special order at Borders. (haha that almost rhymes. I shouldve made more than one order :P)

5. Went to get a backup battery for phone (i'm just so used to my old phone, in which you can play pool for hours and still have at least a half-full battery -.-)

6. Went for a haircut.....no. The hairdresser wasn't in today :( So I'm going back next week or so. Irritating fringe :/

If a younger me, say, four and a half years ago, was told that I'd be doing all that alone in a foreign country, I bet she will be excited, eyes brimming with a sense of adventure. Well..:/ Yea, here I am, living half the life I dreamed about. Half, cos, well, I _am_ in a foreign country, but it's not far enough like I imagined it to be XD

These years I'm torn between the dream I (used to?) have and other thoughts. If I go further from here, I may fulfil my needs for adventure, I will make new friends, experience new cultures, get immersed in another world entirely. Yet by doing so I may sever relationships I had fostered here. It'll be so damn difficult to see my family too. If I live far away, I may not know when will be the last time I see someone for I may not come back that often. On the other hand, I still find it difficult to accept that my future children will be victims of a more and more competitive lifestyle. I guess it is unavoidable, but if there is any way I can avoid it...

Of course, reality check. It is super expensive to go further from here, and with my AJ prelim results, I don't believe I can get any scholarships that get me anywhere -.-" So, forget it :/

Down with sore throat :( and flu-like aching body :( Wondering whether or not to go to school tomorrow. Apparently, this is always the cycle: started to get sick --> still go to school --> get worse --> go to see doctor and miss 1-2 day(s) of school --> get better after a long time -.- Why can't it be: started to get sick --> go to see doctor --> recover fast? :/

Let's hope I'll get well tomorrow? :/

-vNs-

Lost

2010-08-17T23:48:00.003+08:00

Now what, vNs?

I'm crumbling down, I know I am. True, I'm not crying in school, but what's the point in that when I can't stop doing so outside school? And today I nearly cried in school anyway. Trigger? Nothing. I just stoned and thought of school and tears formed in my eyes.

This is insanity. It is scary. I'm scared of myself.

I need to make a plan, fast. Since last year's episode of tumbling down and getting back up, I had decided that I would lower my expectations and stop caring about teachers' or other people's. That got me through most of this year. Until now. I don't even know what's so wrong with me anymore. Lack of time, definitely. No time to do my own revision with teachers forcing us to do work on topics we may or may not need to revise on that much. My Chem and Hist is still at S level, and I need TIME to make it better, and TIME is what is being constantly robbed from me. I don't care, I won't come for next week's maths that are not supposed to be there anyway. My Maths is still not that good, D or E level I will say, but Chem and Hist need much more time than Maths.

I hate going against other people. Really, I do. But it's tough on me either way, so whatever. It totally irritates me how I must do all these sciences subjects when I don't intend to take them further in uni, but I need to get through them to earn my place in uni in the first place.

Everything in school is just so....queer. Freaks the hell out of me. Nothing seems normal. Haha if not for Kally I'd probably be ponning 3 days out of 5 a week :p

As I looked at photos from my 18th bday party right before I went to AJ, I realised how distant in the past it was. Such a beautiful, happy memory, it seems like it happened such a long time ago. Then I thought of the post-A Level days, of how I want to fill my days with. It, too, seems so distant, too far in the future to imagine. I know it's 'only' 3.5 months away, but to me it seems as distant as my 18th birthday last year in January. I'm stuck somewhere miserable in between two happiness, which does nothing but accentuate the stark contrast. I couldn't even believe it was in the same life :/

Well, even as I saw a picture of a long-haired me, I thought to myself that I do not know that girl anymore.

Who am I?

-vNs- (this is a signature, not an answer to the above question)

--Oh yea, I just knew that crying on the phone can causes the phone to get wet to the point that fog forms inside the phone -_- hopefully my phone will be okay.....://
--I have a wonderful boyfriend indeed ((:
I'll be okay. I think. I hope. I will.

emo ;p

2010-08-16T20:31:00.004+08:00

I still felt like crying when I stopped. My eyes were painful to rub and they felt dry, so I urged myself to stop.

If I am still a JC 1 student, with my current stress level and mentality I would've seriously considered quitting JC altogether. It's only because A Levels will be over in 3.5 months time that I don't.

JC made me realise that there were so many other options that I could choose from. And even if I would still be enrolled in JC, I could've been an Arts student. Who knows. As for alternate routes, c'mon. I know how competitive society is, but surely, one can consider a longer path with a better quality of life than the other way around?

Oh, look. Terrible school, I'm now binge-eating on MnMs :( I'm halfway through the second tube of the two MnM minis that are supposed to last me one week :(

At this rate you won't recognize me in 3.5 months time :p I'd probably be a blue whale by then :p

Hopefully the next post will be more cheerful. Amen.

-vNs-

And finally..

2010-08-03T22:33:00.004+08:00

Haha. After hitting my butt against my file and my head against a candy box (seriously), and after a sweet call (:3!) I've decided to sleep.

Good night, world! X)

-vNs-

Chillax :X

2010-08-03T21:54:00.002+08:00

Ok, I think I should cool down -.-" Chill, vNs, chill.

HAHA it was quite funny actually, the dropping iron and got hit by racket thing xD Been such a long time since I've had accidents like that :P I miss that part of me......well, a bit :S

xD

Hmm. Let's do it.

ARGH. SO TIRED. ZZZ.

-vNs-

Blah blah..

2010-08-03T21:46:00.002+08:00

Ah. F***.

My internet is not working. I know it's an irony, but trust me, my internet's not working.

I think I should sleep before I kill myself by accident :/ Today I've accidentally dropped my iron on my left foot, successfully got hit on the head by a badminton racket swung full force, dropped a glass bottle (THANK GOODNESS IT DIDN'T BREAK--PRECIOUS CHINESE MEDICINE), spilled the said medicine three times. Great. I wonder what's next.

Today was ok. It was quite a good school day, even. Did some philosophy GP essay qn.

Yea. I wonder what's next.

Ugh. Skin having allergic reactions despite not eating anything dairy (I think) or beefy. And also despite medications for consecutive days. Crazy.

Geez.

I can't sleep. How can I, when I'm waiting for something?

Maybe I should anyway?

Nightmares, here I come.

-vNs-

Revival Reminiscence

2010-07-22T21:16:00.005+08:00

As KS suggested, I should use Max Revive on my blog.

It's just dead. LOL.

Anyway. Call me mellow or anything. I was rummaging through my closet earlier today when I stumbled upon a paperbag containing a big envelope and an unfinished scrapbook. I thought I had stickers and decorative materials in the envelope, and opened it to find what seemed like rubbish: countless faded receipts, a deflated balloon, crumpled post-its.....

It's a collection of memories from secondary school, actually!

This is what the deflated balloon was once like (it was in my old, old blog, now off-limits):

And this is how the balloon looks like today, all deflated.....:(

Yea. And that's just the balloon. Receipts....haha. Those were the days. Those where the days when my study group would eat dinner outside and I would keep the receipt, trying to hold on to that moment and freeze it, in any way possible. Receipts do not make good keepsakes though, they fade easily. Some, like the Ajisen Ramen ones are still intact though. Pepper Lunch ones (a lot of them) still have their logo on them. For now.

Then there are post-its where Win and I discussed Geog last time. Weird, huh. I guess it was because we were in the library? But I still wonder why we didn't just discuss verbally -.-"

And then there are crumpled post-its. Four sets of them. So this is what happen when we have no idea where to eat: we write on separate piece of post-its, crumple them and draw lots.

Samples. For the sake of this post I actually get my lazy bum out of my bed and scan them. Lol. Earlier on I thought they're glued to the bed :P

Left to right: Win: "Grandmother's house", Me: "as usu, any hawker ctr =)", Tommy: "S11"
I think this one resulted in S11 (what else?)

Left to right: Me: "take other paper!! >__<", Tommy: "Prata House", Win: "Library's Cafe" Strangely enough, we didn't go to Prata House or library's cafe (it's called Cafe Galilee la :P). I forgot where we went in the end ._.
Left to right: Win: "Play scissors paper stone, if you win go take Tommy choice, if lose take Van choice", Tommy: "Win's/vNs's/Mr Fam's House", Me: "fine with anything.....just pick another paper =P" Of course in the end we didn't go to anyone's house! -.-"

Clockwise from top left: Lijing: "any coffee shop", Win: "Home with Mr Luo. -Lijing", Tommy: "Pepper Lunch!", Me:"~~Lijing's house~~ ~~Tommy's house~~ any hawker centre"
I think we ended up at Pepper Lunch. Doh.

There's also another thing that looked like a movie ticket at first, yet turned out to be a pass to Singapore Garden Festival, when the Ess Army went to sell Shoo!Mozzie x) Now I wonder what happened to the movie tix stubs ._. Dozens of them, I believe. Ok, maybe not really dozens, but, yea, quite a lot.

After that I looked at the unfinished scrap book. Actually it was not that bad. It has 11 pages, each of which are very nicely decorated (HAHA SELF-PRAISE), yet it was nowhere near completion. It was supposed to capture the whole Sec 4 year, yet I stopped at Sports Day. I had the photos printed already, but I haven't yet continued. Looking back, it's quite a pity I didn't. Maybe I should, after A Levels. Yeah, I would. Just that, my memory won't be as fresh anymore. For example, I took half a minute to think about the term "Sports Day", being more familiar to "Interhouse Games" and "Track and Field Meet" terms now :/ It's going to be difficult, but I guess it's better than nothing (: When I finish the scrapbook next year I should scan it and post it in facebook! XD

Secondary school. Sweet memories (: When school was fun. Lol.

A Levels :/ I think I'm finally out of my slacking mode. I got bored of all of my games so I started doing more work than required. Well, a little :P I was really slack at the start of term 1, picked up pace and slowed down again as term 2 drew to a close. June holidays were terrible in terms of mugging time, and it got carried way into term 3. It is only now, at the end of week 4 that I started to wake up again. Let's hope I can keep up the momentum without breaking down! :D

To my O Level study group mates: We've gone down very different paths, haven't we? Sometimes I feel lost, facing A Levels without you guys, but hey, we're still friends. We had fought together before, now, apart from each other, we face our own challenges! A different experience altogether. Strive for excellence! (:

Jiayou all for your endeavours!! :D:D

-vNs-

Awakening

2010-06-12T23:03:00.002+08:00

LALALALALALALALA.

*autotune*

lalalalalalalala~~!

Itchy like hell :'( Been addicted to cheesecakes lately ://

Anyway. Yay I'm finally updating my blog (: *ahem*

Just went back from a class outing, secondary school one (: Only 14 out of 42 people came, but it still felt like a lot of people, from different cliques. And there are our drama king and queen treating us to free soap opera too :D xD

Then I remember a statement secondary school teachers made. The statement had always kept me intrigued. Many of them say that they remember their secondary school days more, and maintain friendships with their secondary school friends more than those of JC. When I heard this, I was like, "Haha, but I'm usually always an anomaly anyway." And my logic goes that I entered secondary school in Sec 3, smack in the middle of sec sch years. It was friggin' difficult for me to make friends at first (although Sec 4 year was awesome :D). Then, I got to start JC life from the very beginning, from orientation. Why should I be more attached to my secondary school than my JC?

Truth be told, until now I still can't imagine being closer to my JC friends than secondary school friends. True, there are a handful of JC friends who are close enough and whom I see as real friends, but speaking about the majority, secondary school wins hands down.

Then again, I guess it's still a bit early to make conclusions. I have to admit that I got closer to my secondary school friends only in the last half a year or so of Sec 4, and even more so after graduating. So let's see, maybe in time I can make an even clearer opinion :P

AH. Then there's midyear test coming up. They haunt me at nights, be it as thoughts filling up my mind before I fall asleep, or as dreams (nightmares). I dreamed about mugging hard, and woke up filling so incompetent. I dreamed about being able to barely make it past the test, and woke up horrified :/ I get over them fast, but desperation is what I had just started to learn to overcome. Desperation, because there's so much to learn and so little time, so little stamina. Even when I studied, I feel as if I won't be able to cover what I need to cover in time, that everything will be in vain. For midyear test, that's bad. For A levels, such thoughts weakened me from the insides.

A few days ago, though, KS brought me to Yishun library to study while waiting for movie to start. Then, I went for guitar BBQ and realised that everyone had started studying for the exams. Today, I told myself that I need to start doing something, and I did differentiation recaps and drills. Slow, maybe, but at least I'm trying. And then after the 4A class dinner, Simon asked me if I want to mug with him and Yuxi at AMK lib on Monday. I'm not alone! (: Yep I'm going. Haha. Maybe we're like trying the old method to fight new obstacles, but knowing that I'm totally not alone is good :3 Midyear exams: fail or not, I'll continue revising until 29 November 2010.

The End. Tee-hee! :D

-vNs-

Lost and Found

2010-05-24T23:10:00.001+08:00

When I lost my phone last year, I found a heart xD

-vNs-

Teletummy

2010-05-23T22:42:00.006+08:00

I don't think I can face it :( The week that is to come, I mean.

There are like four history tutorials to do. I think I'll end up doing one or at most two, if I can do any at all. My brain is like totally not working for this topic :( Then there's Chem test, which is like on Tuesday morning, first period. Plus Chem lesson will extend for half an hour on Monday, which is already the most tiring day in a week for me, what's with 7.5 (now 8) hours of lessons X.X (only one break) Then there's X-Country on Thursday, for which my job sounds intense :O I'll need to survive Wednesday and Thursday (and probably Tuesday) without Kally as well. Pff. GP will be so great.

I feel the strong urge to pon one of the days -_-" XD

But my attendance this year hasn't been too good :( What's with all the diseases and injuries plaguing me, one of which is sloth :P

Yea, yea, I know I shouldn't be so pessimistic, be "emo". I know that I should look at the brighter side of things :( But a lot of people know, yet few do. Unfortunately, I'm one of the majority :P At least in this case of school.

It's just frigging mundane and depressing :(

The only happy thoughts about the coming week is because it'll be KS' birthday on Wednesday x)) And that we'll have a long, long weekend at the end :D (followed by June holiday...lessons :P xD)

Gosh. I'm drained of motivation. Like, really :/

Get well soon, KS :( Mwacks! (:

AAAAH. I CAN'T SEEM TO SLEEP. AAAAH.

Feels cold without you around :(

But I had a nice weekend! (: Been so long since we spent Friday to Sunday without plans (: It was a nice weekend, although of course I'd rather what happened today didn't.....it seems so painful T.T Recover faaasst like express mail!! (:

Lol we broke the record this weekend -_-" :P

Teletummy, teletummy~~! *growls*

-vNs-

Sides

2010-05-17T06:10:00.000+08:00

Lalala. Of all days. Chem SPA. Diarrhea.

-vNs-

Painted

2010-05-12T21:54:00.000+08:00

Schtroumpffffff pleeaaaasseeeee I want schtroumpf!!!! a;lskdjfa;ldksjf;a

Okok. Back to sanity (?) XD

AAAH. THE BIG DAY'S TWO DAYS AWAY.

I feel like it's as if I'm counting down days to my wedding day or something =.=" Can you imagine what I'll be like before my wedding if I'm like this before a concert? =.=" xD

Apparently the Internet doesn't really like me. Come on, stop lagging.

I've changed. I know I've changed since that day I was broken into pieces. The last one, I mean. I know I've been broken so many times :P Sorry, I'm made of thin glass -.-" Anyway. Yea. I've changed from a decision-maker into one whose decision is made for. I just don't care, or at least trying not to care, cos everytime I do so, I get hurt.

Hmm. Did a lot a lot of reminiscing today xD Was reminiscing about the past 1+ year in guitar, and then about the past 8+ (or 9th depending on definition--wah, sounds like history) months with KS afterwards (:

Guitar is funny. How I got to know people, how my perspective of them change. I was thinking how my perspective on everyone had changed since last year when I suddenly thought, "I guess my admiration on Zl's guitar skills is the only thing that doesn't change," when I realised that it did change, from one of admiration of skills to one more on admiration of his passion for guitar. There's no constant in guitar. Even who I mingled with changed from time to time and I can relate to almost everyone in guitar due to this. It's...kind of awesome, the memories I have in guitar. A lot of things are movie-like, really. After what happened last last week, though, I wonder how will I view the whole experience after I end it. Will I look back and remember the happy memories? Or will I remember the vivid, traumatic bad ones and recall the experience as a bad, sad one? It's a mystery indeed.

And when I talk about how movie-like things are in guitar, I haven't talked about the things I experienced with KS. The first time I met him was at his house. We accidentally (really) got a couple seat when we watched our first movie (and at that time we weren't together, so I just pretended I don't know that it's a couple seat -.- :P now we laugh about it :P). We were playing in the same band. We got together at 1.30am at his house -.-" (I always got a "O.O" reaction when someone asked me.) We've experienced a temporary long-distance relationship (HAHA long, long 3 weeks! xP) We've quarreled until it was very bad. We made up and became stronger. I don't know. Lots of things, if not all, are just movie-like O.O

Honestly, I LOVE it when things in life get movie-like. Yet I know that reality is not that exciting, nor as rosy. Yet I realised that I did experience a lot a lot of movie-like things xDxD

Yep, I still remember the feelings, the heartbeat getting faster, the sudden pause in breathing, the dream-like atmosphere.

I love you!! ((: Amazing life indeed, after you came into the picture (:

I suddenly remember how I likened JC life to a canvas. Well, it's a very unpredictable canvas. I got a very dramatic picture painted on it. The splash of colour started when you came around! (:

-vNs-

Oops

2010-05-05T22:50:00.003+08:00

Just a realisation.

My blog ain't funny anymore, unlike what it was like two years ago :(

Sad but true, true.

I can't wait for schtroumpf.

Then maybe it will be schtroumpf.

-vNs-

Spent

2010-05-05T22:45:00.000+08:00

I feel like I'm going to faint. My knees buckled when I walked, and my head felt as if it's not there. Although I feel slightly better now, that does not hold true for my state of mind. Yep, I put it on hold, but it's in a state of wreck.

I need some rest. And the rest I mean is really rest.

I don't even feel like screaming like I usually do when I'm upset. I'm simply spent.

Honestly, if there is a means where I can exchange my feelings with a robotic non-existency of one, I will do it, at least for a couple of days. I need an anaesthetic.

Ok now I feel like swearing.

Fast forward.

Run to the grave.

-vNs-

Differentiation

2010-04-29T06:34:00.004+08:00

Fight fire with fire and the fire stays.

KS put my pieces back together again (: So yesterday night, instead of crying some more, I went to work on more stuff :P I'll be a tough nut to crack I tell you. The two can do whatever they want, but there are much more people encouraging me than doing the opposite. I've got KS, even Kally said a thing or two when I talked about it just a little, then there's Evelyn, Darren and Zuler. The last one is exceptionally surprising. I mean, he's my good good friend and all, of course, but he's that kind of guy who don't talk about emotional stuff, who don't even celebrate or wish birthdays -_-" Just the traditional chinese guy? xD But this morning I received a message of encouragement from him (: Oh, and there's Mr Choo too, yesterday.

I'll tell you what, History is very applicable in real life. Of course, it helps us understand most of the conflicts happening today, which are mostly protraction of what happened in the past. But here, I'm talking about understanding life in general. The conflict yesterday is eerily similar to some conflicts between nations, those that get protracted. It's true, the Cold War didn't start all the way until after WWII because prior to that, both US and USSR were isolationist and did not interact with each other. Same goes to individuals, sometimes, interaction leads to conflicts.

I don't really care anymore about them. They can say whatever they want, but apparently, I DON'T understand them, and THEY don't understand me either. So I'll just have to continue with what I had been doing, which had been quite a progress and quite fun if not for what they said yesterday.

SAY WHAT YOU WANT! I'M DONE WITH YOU.

I don't think they will read this la -_-" But even if they do, WHATEVER.

Haha. I suddenly remember that I should be grateful of times like this, cos only in these times that I can differentiate between true friends and not (:

And just as I was typing, I received another encouraging message from KS in my phone ;) I love you dear! (:

-vNs-

The Fugue of Thunder

2010-04-28T16:27:00.003+08:00

I walked in the rain today, purposely getting myself soaked from head to toe when there's an umbrella in my bag. It was a drizzle when I exited school, and turned to a heavy downpour by the time I got home.

The first and last time I did that was when I got my heart broken, a long time ago. I think I had it broken again today, because of a very different reason.

I'm giving up on CCA. At least, I'm giving up putting my heart and soul into it. I've had enough. Don't shoot back at me and corner me, saying that you are not blaming me when you make it seem that way. I want to talk to you one on one, right? Gang up on me, great. For all that I know, your senior ensemble coordinator is no more. What's left is an empty shell, a walking corpse.

I can much better put my heart into something else. Into my own private guitar playing, for one.

And today is supposed to be a happy day. I won't let what happened earlier affect what is going to happen later (: My first date with my "new" boyfriend: the bald KS :P :P hahas xD

I'm just wondering.

How come it's only today that I realise the beauty and grace of thunder? I've always been scared of its loudness, but today, the sound echoes with my heart. Or rather, it resonates with my heart, making me feel less lonely. And then I heard the fugue, thunders chasing one another non-stop, fusing into a melodious chorus.

The greatest concert is performed by nature. The fugue of thunder is accompanied by lightning as lightings at its best, the wind as its backstage crew and the leaves as its props. A performance that touches the heart and soul of its audience, which, sadly, is not many. In fact, that was my first time realising such grand concert.

I think if I go to the IMH, I might be admitted in ;) Everyone is crazy by nature. Mental institutions are just places where people can truly express themselves.

And when my world crumbles down, the thought of you keeps me holding on to life.

-vNs-

Accio Friday Night!

2010-04-20T21:18:00.002+08:00

"There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple... English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the
plural of choose?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?

Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on.

When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?"

--as cited from "English is a Funny Language!(view info)" page on facebook.com

Brilliant essay. I like it xD

Anyway.

I've changed! :D Well, I've changed "back", rather. It has been like more than a year since I can finish next week's homework on the previous week :P Dropping Physics is the correct decision after all, it REALLY does give me time to be more focused on my other subjects. At first I thought that if H1 is half of H2, that will mean that out of my 4H2 subject, dropping 1 H2 will be equivalent to dropping 1/8, or 0.125 of my burden, which doesn't seem like a lot. But hey. It feels like I've just dropped half of my subjects O.O Or a third, at least. I just hope I can maintain the momentum all the way until 29 November!! :D CHIONG!

Next. Physics assignment, Carboxylic Acids Tutorial and Sampling tutorial. History must wait until the lecturer finishes covering the current topic first before continuing with the outlines. Oh yea. Must start revising Cold War for next week's revision session!

Planning guitar concert is fun (: As long as you know who to mix and mingle with, that is. In fact, as long as I keep my distance off someone, I'll be able to maintain my mood -_-" It's not his fault he's like that, I guess, I just can't take it cos what he does is my pet peeve.

Almost done with the programme for concert. Three more groups to audition next week and we're all set! :D Decorations + booklet + poster designs ASAP, MCs and backstage crews to be recruited, and.....all the publication work, announcement and flyers to classes. It's fun planning an event you love with the friends you love (:

Huuh. Why didn't XJ want to play? :'((

I feel like getting a super-thin notebook to compile all concert matters X.X Apparently I don't think my small planner can take it. Haha.

Did some psychoanalysis thing. Lol. It's quite fun observing trends among people :P

Happy! (:

And tired. Zzz.

Accio Friday night!!!

-vNs-

Spare Parts for Body Parts?

2010-04-12T19:42:00.005+08:00

Sometimes I forgot that I have a blog.

Haha. Anyway, now I'm in a brink of a performance disaster. I mean, well, we'll be having guitar competition/concert this saturday. Last week, I had a mental disaster. Haha. All of a sudden, last week, I didn't feel like going for the competition anymore. Don't ask me why. I was just like suddenly so sian about the whole thing. But anyway, after three days of MC and almost a week of not seeing my guitar, I kind of rekindled my willpower and am ready to go for it. So I was happily reunited with my guitar today, and opened my guitar bag with a longing akin to one missing its lover.

Only to find the first string broken.

AAAAARGH.

So I spent the practice without the first string -_-"

Well, I do have a set of spare strings at home. Different brand from the current ones.

And...

I don't think I can condition the string by Saturday. As in, yes, condition, can, but not in top shape, most certainly. Ugh.

And then my friend also pointed out to me and wished for my foot to recover by Saturday, or I will have to perform in slippers and bandage -_-" xDxD

Ok. Actually the whole 'performance disaster' thing looks kind of funny to me. Just like how my body started rotting away last last week, starting with foot, arm, teeth, then flu. Bla3, just like an old machine crumbling away. LOL.

Seriously, it's funny xD

Looking more on the bright side, I got 37/50 for lecture compre test :P

"I'm blown away by the evaluation here (esp on this page). Full marks to you."

You don't get that everyday on your AQ :D Full marks was achieved by people before, maybe even me (I can't remember lol) but the comment :P *grows big-headed* Just kidding. Actually I find it weird. Ok, not weird, but strange. HAHA. As in, like, "Thank you, but why, thank you." Lol.

For once, achieving my target in GP for A Levels seems really possible. Haha.

Anyway. I need to do carbonyl tutorial like, by Thursday, and finish quantum by Wednesday. And yea, I'm like seeing doctor and taking care of my concert attire tomorrow, and Wednesday we'll have more exco interviews for the J1s. And remember that I'm crumbling away parts per body parts? Lol. Bless me.

Then again, I might just make it. For a reason.

I will survive~! (: And so shall you~! (:

--the end of T2W4's Monday; a day of an hour of GP, 2 hours of Chem, 2 hours of History and 2 1/2 hours of Physics. Plus CCA for today.

Pff. These days I don't even feel like playing games. I just want to sleep :/

-vNs-

The Last Battle's Schedule

2010-04-07T21:48:00.006+08:00

I believe I've slept more than a baby does for the past 24 hours ._. Yeah, in addition to my foot problem (which is now much better! :D) now I got flu -_-" But yea, the foot's much better, just like in the state it was in before ushering. Slight pain, but much better compared to yesterday.

Anyway.

I used to kind of like 29 November, as it is my favourite soccer's player's birthday (: (Gosh, he's 37 this year!!! O.O) But I believe I'd love it all the more this year. 29 November 2010 will be the date of my LAST A LEVEL EXAM! :D :D :D :D :D

Oh, and second last paper's on 22 Nov -_-" Talk about protracted conflict -_-"

Here goes my A Level timetable! :D

These are my subjects,
GP H1 (8806)
Physics H1 (8866)
History H2 (9731)
Chemistry H2 (9647)
Mathematics H2 (9740)
but I also include these (which I will write in brackets):
Bio H2 (9648)
Econs H1 (8819)
Geog H2 (9730)
Phys H2 (9646)
as my best friend in class and KS are taking these subjects ;)

8 Nov
Hist paper 2, 2 pm
(Geog paper 1, 8 am)

9 Nov
Chem paper 3, 2 pm

10 Nov (Bio + GP :( )
GP paper 1, 8 am
GP paper 2, 10.15 am
(Bio paper 2, 2 pm)

11 Nov: TERRIBLE DAY O.O
Maths paper 1, 8 am
Hist paper 1, 2 pm

12 Nov
Maths paper 2, 8 am

16 Nov
Chem paper 2, 8 am

18 Nov
Phys H1 & H2 paper 2, 2 pm

(19 Nov)
(Econs paper 1, 230 pm)

22 Nov
(Bio paper 3, 8 am)
Chem paper 1, 2 pm

(23 Nov)
(Phys H2 paper 3, 8 am)

29 Nov
Phys H1 & H2 paper 1, 2 pm

(30 Nov)
(Geog paper 2, 2 pm)

(2 Dec)
(Bio paper 1, 8 am)

The rest of the timetable can be found in SEAB website. I just took out my subjects, Kally's and KS', which are quite the common subjects for the rest of the 29/09 people anyway.

For 2010 GCE A Timetable, click here.
For the list of subject codes, click here.

I would've liked History paper to be the only paper for the day, not together with Maths or anything at all -_-" But oh well, at least it's not Hist + GP = 2 language-based subjects in one day :/ And....yea, I should be grateful for my timetable. And I think history paper shouldn't be that draining after much practice I will have in Term 3 & 4, right? :P Unlike promos -_-"

Oh, timetable is subject to change, which usually never happens anyway *rolls eyes*

Haha. I've come up with targets for myself for A's (: Excluding MT and including PW, I have 6 subjects. Aiming for 3As and 3Bs. As for GP (haha I'm serious! xD it's my strongest subject for promos -_-"), Maths and Physics, and Bs for PW, Chem and Hist. PW results are coming out in like, two days time? O.O Ok. It will be nice to get an A for PW (: But a B will be fine too.

Ok, off to make a call! (:

Stay strong, everyone (including me)! (:

-vNs-

Moderation

2010-04-04T20:41:00.000+08:00

The weekend had left me so fed up with my body. Not in the vain way like the typical teenagers' I'm-so-fat, but more of its state of health. Stretched muscles on my foot which became worse over time, corroded soles and blisters, all these caused me to limp at times. AND I HAVE 2.4 KM RUN IN 2 DAYS. PLEASE. Then there's this stupid gastric-alike stomach pain which attacks me every few hours. And headaches, of course, but I'm used to this. Then there's toothache on the left side of my mouth which also attacks me every so often. Like, what the hell is wrong with me this weekend??

I'm considering my options. Like, go to school and pretend like nothing has happened, or skip school for one day and go see doctor for ALL the problems that I have and get enough rest to try to recover by the next day? Then again, I think I will just go for a jog tomorrow before school, and then go to school and pretend like I'm fine. I don't know. There's this stubborn girl inside me telling me that I only need to run for two more days, and then NAPFA is over, for good! Provided that I pass, of course, and that's why I need to jog tomorrow.

But what if training only makes my feet worse?

Sigh.

If only I can have my fitness from last year's pretest.

Ok. For now I shall take multivitamins, check a few things, ignore this stubborn throbbing in my head and get enough rest.

If loneliness can kill, this is the night.

-vNs-

The Heart of Life

2010-03-31T06:20:00.002+08:00

Haha, blogging less these days :P Either life is just so-so, or I'm busy (with both happy and dull moments, i.e. weekends AND school days :( ). Maybe a mixture of both.

Anyway. I want to congratulate myself (LOL) for getting through the past weeks before the Wednesday of March holiday. True, we didn't make it to the finals, but I feel strangely satisfied and accomplished O.O Maybe it was due to the fact that we went through LOTS of adversity to finally be able to perform on Wednesday. I did feel like giving up halfway, but I didn't. I begged, cajoled, persisted, almost went crazy, and voila. At least we end up with a complete band formation :P I don't know. I know it's strange, but I do feel accomplished. With keyboardist quitting, bassist super busy, drummer quitting after weeks of arguments, rhythm guitarist overseas on audition day etc etc, I was more than glad that we could at least perform in the end -_-" There are of course minor problems like new bassist's bass not working, etc, but that's like nothing compared to what we had gone through.

Haha. So yea, lesson learned: do your best no matter what. Regardless of the outcome, you'll feel satisfied and won't look back at the experience as a failure but rather, a success in overcoming obstacles. Life is about becoming a better you, the only one you should compare to is yourself.

Strange. Last night, I was the one who couldn't sleep well because I miss you so much.

Thursday! ;)

I've decided. I'm in a spiritual mess, I know. I've gone astray and now I'm scared. But this easter, maybe, I will find the courage to mend it.

Lord, help me.

-vNs-

Brightest Darkness

2010-03-22T13:18:00.002+08:00

Hi. I'm back from school for a three-hour break -_-" My usual 1 1/2 hour break becomes 3 hour as history tutorial is self-study time for today, teacher is on course. And I only used half an hour to eat lunch, no more than that, so yea, I have 3 hour to spend before coming back to school for Chem later. Might be taking nap soon to recharge my brain cells ;)

Physics lecture was omg super boring. Maybe it was also because I had my mind on another thing, which can only be taken care of tomorrow afternoon :( But yea. This is what I did on Physics lecture: :P

:P The first one :P
Style found by accident.

Of course Monday blues is green.

Schtroumpf!!

UGH. This one was among my favourites cos it was so bright and yellow and white and nice. Then it turned out this ugly after I scanned it :( :( :( :( :( But yea, that's the idea, the brightest darkness :P

:D :D :D That's me with frizzy hair! xD

Ugh. MOUSSEEEEEEE. Oops. Now I want chocolate mousse. HAHA.

-vNs-

Paws Up

2010-03-21T23:16:00.001+08:00

Dearest Shanky,

You must have been an armchair in your past life, cos you make me feel so comfortable ;)

HAHA I can start my own cheesy pick-up lines list xDxDxD

Anyway.

Term 2 is knocking at my door. Help.

An announcement coming out tomorrow, but I've got a more urgent thing on my mind. And I have no idea how to do it, who to go to first and all. ARGH.

Take it one step at a time.

The cat is missing its mouse. Literal mouse -_-"

-vNs-

Ventilation

2010-03-11T18:32:00.003+08:00

I was a bit stressed up today :/ Guitar instructor hunted me down for concert programme outline. There's Chem test tomorrow. Then there's the biggest headache of all time, the elasticity of the band, although I was deciding to quit if things didn't improve (it did). I almost stoned during Math class quiz, not knowing how to solve the question. And then came the final blow, I failed Physics for the first time in AJ, if not in my whole life. Well, half-failed, technically, since it was an S, but a failure is a failure. And then I became so sensitive to those around me. Physics group discussion was in Chinese, as always, and I was too tired to bother. Teacher came around and asked why I did not participate in the discussion and I told him the truth that it was in a language I do not speak anyway. Teacher asked the group to speak in English. It lasted for not more than five minutes before they switched back to Chinese and so I stopped trying to fit in. The whole thing made me feel like a stupid, idiotic misfit.

I kind of hoping there will be GP oral exam, you know. Just so that people will bother to speak English. Lol. Never mind me, I'm just a misfit.

But really, WHO THE HELL CARES. For all I know, you can all talk among yourselves and I won't bother. I will either drop the subject or just study on my own. It doesn't matter which, for the first option since I won't be doing it in uni anyway, and for the second option, well, since I know I am capable of doing so.

Ok. Venting frustration done.

In the end Rubber Band did register for AJI. In the end the first three members were the ones who stick. Last time, we couldn't find a bassist and a drummer. Well, the two J1s joining us couldn't find guitarists and vocalists when they tried to form a band. It all sounds like a jigsaw puzzle to me O.O xD They have what we need, and we have what they need! (:

I think it's just because I'm too stressed up in mind. Yea. I grow very sensitive of many people. Then again, it's the end of the term, and my parents are coming tomorrow, yeah! (:

Friday.

I wonder if not having my parents and siblings around had affected me in certain ways. Well, for one, I know how much I hate being told what to do, maybe because I am not used to it anymore. And sometimes I constantly feel insecure, as if I have to fight for my survival -_- cos there are no parents who are physically around for me to fall back on. I wonder what else.

Haha. But really, telling you how stressed I am and all really helped. It reminded me how I DO have someone supporting me always (:

Ok. Rubber band thing solved. I need my mental rest. It had drained me the past days.

Chem test! Rawr. *burns notes, dissolves in water, drinks*

-vNs-

Perplexed

2010-03-04T18:57:00.003+08:00

AAAAAH.

I WANT TO SLEEP.

Yet I still need to wait for an sms. Rawr.

aksldf;akdshf;kasdf;kajds;flkjasl;dka

Okok. Anyway. Tiring day.

vNs passed 2.4km run by 6 seconds today. vNs is worried about her NAPFA test :(

Moreover, vNs' head is going to explode with all this 'human traffic' problems @.@ Zl faster reply!!!

However, vNs is happy that tomorrow is Friday! (: And vNs had gotten parents' permission to skip CCA next friday. LOL.

And vNs is totally stressed out by maths. Now there are two options for vNs, one is to drop Maths to H1, which is only logical, since she will then be able to do better in the subject, and anyway, she's not going to do anything relating to Maths in uni. Still, she's going for the second option for the next one month, which is to fight and see what happens. She has strategies, of course, she always does. It will be a matter of whether or not the strategies will work, whether or not she will have the time and energy to carry them out.

vNs thought she was going to do fine this year, yet of course stress lingered around. vNs misses home. vNs misses her family. vNs misses KS. vNs misses last year's moments of having friends to mug with every weekend. vNs has to admit she misses those hardcore mugging sessions with Lijing, Tommy and Win and Simon.

vNs is horrified with the solo part of La La Land. Sobs.

FASTER REPLYYYY.

vNs thinks she should change the solo part of La La Land, but her brain is totally fried now. vNs suddenly thinks she sucks at guitar :(

Abdominal breathing!

-vNs-

RAWR.

2010-03-02T20:56:00.003+08:00

Woah. CCA was super hectic. With Dylan and Su Xian down with illnesses, it was like left to me and Mavis to settle concert stuff and J1 stuff and competition stuff and bla bla bla. Some more the roster for tomorrow was not done. Now it's done, of course.

The point today is I see what Mr Choo means, the need to separate J1s into different groups. I tried to take them for half an hour today and I was rather frustrated. The gap was too big. Hence the need for groupings.

And after what I saw today, I really wonder what will be the most effective way to teach someone how to read music. Somehow I feel like, yes, it is tough to learn, but it is tougher to teach. I don't know where to start. I had been reading music for almost as long as I had been reading ABCs, and I forgot how it all started. I really want to try. If there's a volunteer willing to learn how to read music, for example, I will try my best to help. I guess I'm a bit biased towards people who can play guitar but cannot read music, simply because I do know an amazing person who falls into this category. KS ;)

Hmm.

There are lots of ideas in my mind, lots of things I want to do, it's that period of time again when I have an explosion of ideas inside. And of course, there is not enough time to do what I want or need to do. Heck, I barely have time to practise for this Saturday morning's jamming :'( The guitar is....rather difficult :/ May even need to wake up at 4am to practise guitar -_-""""" LOL.

Ok. Rest!!! Super tired out of the short hours of sleep I had been getting :( Long school hours doesn't help at all. But I do enjoy my time in CCA, although yes, things go haywire! X.X

-vNs-

Royal Mail

2010-03-02T16:01:00.005+08:00

Woo. Am at home for a 1 1/2 hour break before CCA. I was grumbling to myself about how unbearable the weather had been the last few days when I noticed an unfamiliar card in my room. On it, written something about 'study' and so I thought it's probably just another educational institution flyer that came in with the post (just like the NUS one I received a couple of weeks ago). I picked it up nonetheless and wow :D

It's probably the first overseas postcard I had ever received. Yea, I had never received any letter from overseas before, as far as I remember.

It was my birthday postcard from Win O.O Apparently, the card had traveled all the way from Oxford to reach Singapore safely xD And wow, although Win did tell me when he's sending me a postcard, it was quite a surprise still, haha. Thanks a lot! x)

Feel like birthday again. Hahaha.

But seriously, the weather's so friggin hot every single day X.X

Oh, the 'study' thing written on the post card: "Why study? The more I study, the more I know. The more I know, the more I forget. The more I forget, the less I know, so why study?" XD A bit of an irony to me, considering it's a card from Oxford, haha.

Today, seven J1s are joining us as the main ensemble! Yay! (:

And to top it all, tomorrow's Wednesday! x)

Ugggghhh. Tonnes of schoolwork :'((

-vNs-

Wheels

2010-03-02T06:25:00.004+08:00

Be grateful with what you have now, for that is what other people might have just lost.

Reading an end has never been pleasant anyway :/

-vNs-

Look Up!

2010-02-28T22:53:00.003+08:00

Had been feeling like writing a post since days ago, yet find either no time or will to write -_-" And in the end I piled up all the topic I want to write about -_-

Let's start with the unpleasant one, so we can end up on a lighter note :P

Last year, I found out that working with people you cannot really get along with may ruin the schtroumpf between you for good, despite it being good or at least neutral before you had to work together. I had a good relationship turned neutral, and a neutral one turned sour. Ugh. Things do turn out ugly at times.

Sometimes I regret asking him to join the group. It apparently ruined my friendship with him. Although I had not been very close with him from the start, there were times when we understand each other because of the similarities we have that no one else in the crowd we are in shares. Now...looking at how things turn out, I don't even talk to him anymore. Funny how life goes.

Ok. Enough schtroumpf things.

When I went to YJC CVD yesterday, someone found me: AMANDA. Omg. And Kah Yun was there too, as a visitor. Like, wow. Those two TKD friends of mine, my closest juniors in MF! :D I totally lost contact with them after I lost my phone and hence their schtroumpf in August last year. Tried asking other juniors I know with no results. So I was left with no idea where they are and how they are doing. Well, fate works its magic and we met yesterday. Woo! :D :D

Rewind to Thursday and you'll find me finally getting away with 171cm for standing broad jump. It had always been the station which gave me the most problem: my record was 165cm, usually I get 150+ or 160cm. My passing mark is 156cm this year. Last year I failed NAPFA for the first time ever just because of this schtroumpf. Well, last Thursday I jumped 167 and 171cm. Woah. Not as far as more than half my friends did, obviously, but comparing with my past results, it really made my day. Thanks to KS for the tips; it's more than just tips, it gave me courage to overcome my fear and anxiety! :P ((:

Ok. Left another topic or two.

WARNING: the following part may not be suitable for people like Button -_-"" I'm serious. You've been warned.

NS. Last week I spent around four days thinking and researching about it before finally coming into a conclusion. I started by thinking about how tough it will be, what are the chances that our relationship can make it, what are the common difficulties faced and hence what should be done to prevent a break-up during that period of time.

"Research" here means LOTS of googling, reading LOTS of forum pages and talking to relevant people including even....never mind. Well, my "research" results were as follows.

Most people said that 90% relationships usually cannot make it past NS. A common difficulty for the girl is how the guy may not be there when she needs him to be. A common difficulty for the guy is thinking how the girl may meet and fall for another guy in the working world/university, where she is out in the open and have a new world to explore. However, the key difficulty lies in communication problem, as the couple may not see each other as often as before, and the fact that when they do, the guy may be too tired to go out, or chat, or anything at all. Communication problem often exarcebates the girl's problem of needing the guy's care, and the guy's problem of possible jealousy.

So. From the gist of it, trust is the most crucial thing in order for a relationship to work out. That, and strength, loyalty and patience. The girl's ought to trust the guy when he's on overseas training, for example, and must be strong to go through weeks without him. She must be loyal to him no matter what kind of guys are around her and be patient when he's tired out after a week's training. On the other hand, the guy must trust that the girl will be loyal to him, be strong enough to go through trainings and yet spend some time with the girl when time permits. He must be loyal too, and be patient when the girl demands care and attention.

Of course, easier said than done. That's what haunts my mind as I formulated all these. I mean, if it's that easy, why would the percentage of break-up reach as high as 90%? Ok, here goes the "Button is warned" part.

My conclusion is that we are different. There is no use comparing us to other couples, because our case is unique. Where many cases involve couples from the same school who sees each other every single day, we don't. And where in many cases, couples had never gone on weeks of never seeing each other, we had. True, there's MSN, but hey, we've made it before, not seeing each other for 3 weeks. Yet I know it may be nothing compared to what's up next year. And I'm suddenly reminded of my studies of Southeast Asian History and how the nations gained independence and then form their own political structures. The experience of the nations may be similar in nature, yet all reached various degrees of successes. We may be up to experiences similar to other couples next year, yet the results may not be the same.

You're someone worth waiting for. Your friends said you're a good guy, and I couldn't agree more with them. I don't know. Maybe it's in the way you handle things, take up challenges, treat other people, your sense of responsibility, how gentle you are (apparently this may be one of the first things that really got me :P), I don't know for sure, but I love you. My heart is telling me that I should hold on and wait for you during those two years. I'm determined to make it through. I'm no fortune-teller, but I'm willing to give it a try. We'll take our chances and try our best! (:

I look up to you in many ways, not just literally because you're taller :P I guess I even run properly during PE, ashamed, thinking about how much you exercise as compared to me :P Haha xD

Looking forward to Wednesday!! (:

-vNs-

Grapefruit

2010-02-22T22:11:00.003+08:00

When faced with a challenge, one can either run away or tries one's best to be stronger and thus overcome the challenge.

I decided to use whatever time I have left to grow stronger. By next year, hopefully I will never ever again cry out of loneliness, etc etc. I will NOT back down. I really want to grow stronger.

It's not only about me. It's more about you. About us, too (:

You asked me a question a long time ago. I kept it safely locked in my memory: your question, and my answer.

There's not much time left to prepare for A's, and the same goes with this. Preparation has to start from now! (:

Power up power up! I'll grow up and wipe away leftovers of my childish tears!

Schtroumpf up! :D

Haha. I drank grapefruit, the "jerk"! xD

"Hi, Grapefruit! Hi, Grapefruit! Mouth!!!"

-vNs-

Strive

2010-02-21T21:59:00.004+08:00

Truth be told, I had begun the process of blog-background making, but too lazy to continue it -.-" Lol. Alright, alright. Maybe someday. Maybe during the March "holiday".

I just realised. Introducing gets me more nervous than being introduced. By tenfolds. Haha. Everything will be alright ;) I think.

Aaaah. There are just so many things I want to do after I graduate. Resume learning Chinese is one. Take up a new musical instrument, maybe. Most probably flute. (I think if I go for drums I won't be able to coordinate -_-" I got bad hands-feet coordination -_-) Buy and play the Sims 3. Hahaha. Try to get a job at a music shop or pet shop or Sistic :P Save up money and probably even buy an iPhone :P

And the list goes on and on. Schtroumpf!!

Anyway, my engine is up and running now. Mugging alone in school is not a problem. Mugging during weekends (not alone!) is also not a problem ;) I am worried about the results I'll be getting next year, but I guess that as long as I give it a try, I won't be down with regrets the day I got it back. True, now that my two most favourite teachers don't teach my class anymore, I feel no connection whatsoever with any teacher. And I don't have as many friends to mug together as I had in Mayflower. But I guess I've adapted somehow. I miss those days, when teachers are like a substitute for parents for me in Sg, and when friends are like a substitute for siblings. Then again, now I do have a family in Sg, not in school, but I know I'm not alone.

Yea. Actually, seeing how it is in school and how I am struggling with schoolwork, I doubt my A results will be awesome. But I just have to try.

Gogogo!! :D

-vNs-

Yawn!

2010-02-19T14:34:00.003+08:00

Hi again (finally). No, I didn't die :P I just sort of had a lot of things to schtroumpf @.@

But well, with essays knocked out and concert planning in progress, I still have tutorials to do. Lalala. And with lack of sleep, of course. That comes together with school :P

Anyway. Today's Friday! Yeehaw! :D

Ugh. I still need to go back to schtroumpf for conversational Chinese class (last one before we go back to Malay class T.T) and CCA....

Went home to tidy up laundry. Haha. And packed up ;)

Power up!

-vNs-

Shiver

2010-02-11T05:46:00.002+08:00

My goodness. Had a terrible, terrible dream last night :/ It was so real that only when I suddenly woke up in the middle of the night that I realised it was just a dream ._.

Lol. I don't know why I dream what I dreamed. Blame my two friends in guitar? -_-"" LOL. Never mind, a dream's just a dream x) It's obviously not a wish my heart makes.

Okok. Have to fight for another two more days, 1 1/2 days of lessons. A long weekend awaits at the end! ((:

Jiayou us! :D

No, not U.S. Us.

-vNs-

Pillars

2010-02-09T20:57:00.007+08:00

At that point of time, all I want is to hear your voice. To chat with you, about anything at all. Make me laugh.

Well, the things I thought would be chaotic turned out to be okay, and instead, there were other unexpected things that cracked the wall I had built.

Yet after the walk home, I know I will be fine. Cos, well, one thing I love about joining guitar is the people I meet. Some are simply awesome. I will be fine. I am not alone, and I have my friends as pillars of support. We'll make it together (:

It's tough, sure, but now that I am where I am, I might as well give it a try and do my best, no?

At times, I feel like what I have been doing lately is setting my mindset to make things right. At other times, I feel like what I am doing is bottling things up and keeping my thoughts to myself. If that's the case, that means I had exploded today. But, can I choose to think about it in another way? I am just tired. I just need some rest. I still have my friends around to support me and everything will be fine in the end.

Yea. I just need rest.

And I need your lame jokes ;) Hahas x)

Ok. Back to mindsetting and dinner, a rarity on Tuesday night :P

-vNs-

Current & Currency

2010-02-08T22:30:00.002+08:00

If I think about every single stressful thing, I won't live long, I tell you :X But life is about making choices, right? I can simply choose not to schtroumpf about the things that drive me mad. For example, CCA stress is never ending. But I can choose to look at CCA in a different light, remembering the times I enjoy in there, instead of stressing myself with all the expectations.

Same goes with other aspects in life. Life can't be so bad, can it? (:

Woohoo, got a friggin 34/50 for the GP essay which question I was not so sure about x)) I did it the history way (organization-wise and examples) and got a high B :P Although, well, as always, the teacher wrote: "I wish there are more current examples." I believe this is at least the third time I got such comments from at least three different teachers ._. I'm a History student after all, eh? :P

I have no idea how tomorrow will be like. If I think about it now, I'll expect it to be chaotic. But! If I think that way, then that's the way it will be, or at least feel like, to me. So...I got another seven hours to brainwash myself and clear my mind from negative thoughts!! ((:

I miss you. Again.

-vNs-

!@#$%&* Econs O.O

2010-02-08T15:10:00.004+08:00

Lol. I almost died during History lecture today, what's with terms such as balance of payment, something-something effect (see, I forgot already -_-), dollar peg, and all stuff about exchange rates and the actions governments took to sort of control them. I mean, I can understand slowly, but heck, History lecture caught me dumbstricken -.-" Lol. Some more there were only two students who take H2 History and do not take Econs, Jundi and me, and since Jundi knows everything, he can simply be considered as an Econs student :P

I took action straight away and borrowed Kally's econs lecture notes. Haha. Got the gist of it now. But seriously, I am contented with being a history student and I totally don't regret my decision not to take econs -_-"

My amp is home~! :D Lugged it from school just now :P Oh yea btw I was not dismissed early, it's just that I went home for my 1 1/2 hour break :P Must go back in 15 mins' time for 2 hr of Chem lesson :(

Till later then! (:

-vNs-

Friday Blues :P

2010-02-04T21:58:00.001+08:00

I suddenly remember. If I decorate the class straight after maths, and then go straight to Chinese class, and then to CCA J1 Audition, and then to CNY rehearsal, that will mean that I have only 1/2 hour break in the morning, a mere 30 mins for a school day that starts at 7.25AM and ends at 7PM+. Lol. Must smuggle food in-between!

I may complain when I get too busy, but then again, I guess I don't like having nothing to do either :P So, well, just have to go through tomorrow somehow! (:

Functions. Functions. Functions. A kind of topic I may like. It reminds me of polynomials, my favourite chapter in A.Maths last time :P But yea. With a burnt brain and a drained physique, I have no idea how I am going to start doing it.

Maybe I should get some schtroumpf for now and do some questions in the morning? :/

Strong and happy and strong and happy and strong and happy.

Haha. Today was quite a schtroumpf day again ;)

And people whom I talk to about something unrelated added a comment on Rubber Band's performance yesterday. The most commonly used word for these comments is 'cool' x) Hehehehes :P

Stability. Stabilo.

Photos! I want those photos!!! Rawr! <3

-vNs-

Rubber Band!

2010-02-03T20:10:00.006+08:00

I couldn't schtroumpf a single thing before GP lecture today except that I felt sleepy -_-" But yea, after GP lecture was lunch, and then....preparation for performance :D soundcheck + rehearsal + change to performance attire ;)

Venue! Not a concert hall, definitely, but I LOVE lights still :P

Oli and scores ;)

LOL. Pointing downwards (?)

He's not reading scores/tabs. Believe me.

One moment before this was super hilarious. I took out my camera a bit too late tho :/

Sean went back to his OG as an OGL, the rest went to change...
Left to right: stripes, checkered, stripes, checkered,....stripes AND checkered -_-"

Rubber band's finally complete!

Post-performance :P One more pose in Olivia's camera.
1. I thought we were supposed to look in different directions.
2. I thought I had 'booked' the 'up' direction -_-" RAWR. lol.

Well, no one really screwed up (: I think we did much much better as compared to the auditions (: And I think we had fun :D (I had real fun!)

Ok. I did get stage fright in the morning. And when the curtain started to open, I willed it to close again -_-" But after it was opened, well, it felt nothing but comfortable! :D Yes, a thousand pairs of schtroumpfs were looking at the stage, but it felt cozy nonetheless :P Maybe it was because I was sure of what I was supposed to play. Maybe it was because I simply do love to perform. Maybe that was because of who I was with. Maybe it was a mixture of all. I don't know, but it felt right.

Now that I think about it. It felt right when I performed in a small ensemble group in Jakarta, years ago. It felt right when I performed for Xmas concert last year. It felt right when I started 'busking' on CCA carnival. But today's was different. It still felt _right_, yet I think there's more to just feeling 'right'. Left?

And about the 7.30PM thing yesterday, well, it went rather smoothly. Nothing fancy, but nothing below my expectations and/or needs. Talked to mom and stuff. May have things to do next March holiday.

Oh, and Mom cannot go to Sg this weekend :( My youngest brother's application to secondary school needs some attention. It's okay! (:

I wonder how your day went. I hope yours was good too (: Stress might bite us here and there, but we won't surrender, cos at the end of the day we have each other, even if just in mind, without any physical presence ;) Jiayou! (:

-vNs-

Click

2010-02-02T22:29:00.002+08:00

Now this is luck. Damn lucky. Wow. Haha. Or maybe not. Will see tomorrow at 7.30pm! ;)

Oh and anyway, so schtroumpf.....tomorrow's Rubber Band first performance! ._. And also my first performance with electric guitar. Third with guitar, excluding the CCA carnival one, cos that one's more like busking xD

Nail clippers. Now!

Whenever unpleasant things happen these days, I just kept muttering the words "strong" and "happy" inside my mind like some psychotic schtroumpf freak -_-" But cos it kind of works in cooling down my temper, I guess I should just schtroumpf it :P

All in all, I am just trying to enjoy life. Been rather schtroumpf so far, and so...I think I should just continue what I'm doing?

Gogogogo for tomorrow, for both you and I! (:

-vNs-

Last Day of 19th Birthday (?) xD

2010-02-01T18:41:00.004+08:00

Another schtroumpfed day! :D And remembering that it's Monday, it's quite outstanding :P

I got another birthday greeting + present today, this time from my bandmates! :D I really, really love the birthday card xD And to know that even Zuler wrote on the card is a something, because usually I am the 'connector' between the Indo girls and the Sg guys. Haha.

And what Zl wrote kept me laughing the half of Physics lecture. Zoom in!

LOL. That's just so him xD Well, when I read anyone's writings/sms/IMs, it's usually as if I can hear their voice talking to me. In this case, those words are really of Zl's voice. Lol!

I love presents, but I love love love handwritten cards x3

Oh yea. Here's what they wrote at the back of the card:
"We know you like gummies :)
We know you like writing/doodling on a notebook :)
We know you are 'V' :)
We know you, Vanessa :D"
Doesn't that sound like I'm being stalked? O.O HAHAHA jkjk xD Lol! (Each of the sentences refers to each one of the presents I got from them.)

It feels like every year, my birthday extends over a few days :D Thanks so much for the 19th birthday greetings, cake, dinner, song and presents, everyone! x) Being nineteen can't be so bad :3

Tutorials!!!

-vNs-

Rest.Love.Fun.

2010-01-31T19:18:00.004+08:00

Yoohoo, had a schtroumpf weekend! :D :D ;) Had enough rest, enough love, enough fun, and I even did 2 1/2 tutorials in like, 2-3 hours (: Yeehaw! Still a bit behind the pace in school, but, oh well, I'm catching up, or at least I'm trying to :P And the weekend is brought to a closure with yet another jamming session with Rubber Band :P

Jamming was kind of schtroumpf without BOTH bass and keyboard -_-" Lol. What's a band without a bassist? :/ Our first song has an accapella line to it as the keyboarder is not there LOL. And the second song has four lines of only vocals + drums cos the bassist is not around. Haha.

Spent about 10-15 mins switching to bass for Here We Go Again twice xD Ugh I really feel like learning all these instruments: drums, bass and flute! xD *greedy!*

So many things I want to schtroumpf in my brain now...patience and organization should do it! (:

Running low on cash. Better plan all expenditure very, very carefully or risk having to beg people for food -_-"

No matter what the situation is like, I just have to remember that I have to try to be strong and happy always (:

Aaaaaah tomorrow is schtroumpf! A schtroumpf week ahead, but maybe, just maybe, I will get to see my mom next weekend. Yippie! :3

-vNs-

Schtroumpf!

2010-01-28T22:21:00.003+08:00

Today is such a schtroumpf day (:

I'll be a strong and happy girl.

Been really different from who I usually was last year, but it's been great all along. My friends used the one hour break to schtroumpf my birthday, Mr Lau even schtroumpf drinks for us (: Then came my first 2.4km run of the year, and although I failed the timing, I felt a sense of accomplishment for not stopping during the six rounds despite not having exercising properly for months. Still, there's work to be done, NAPFA in two months! I have to schtroumpf!

After school, I went home, showered and went to schtroumpf with Kai Sheng (: Super schtroumpf meal! x)

Ah. I miss reading Les Schtroumpf aka The Smurfs. And Asterix. Oh yea.

Alright, gotta schtroumpf now, another long day ahead tomorrow!

-vNs-