Fight fire with fire and the fire stays.

KS put my pieces back together again (: So yesterday night, instead of crying some more, I went to work on more stuff :P I'll be a tough nut to crack I tell you. The two can do whatever they want, but there are much more people encouraging me than doing the opposite. I've got KS, even Kally said a thing or two when I talked about it just a little, then there's Evelyn, Darren and Zuler. The last one is exceptionally surprising. I mean, he's my good good friend and all, of course, but he's that kind of guy who don't talk about emotional stuff, who don't even celebrate or wish birthdays -_-" Just the traditional chinese guy? xD But this morning I received a message of encouragement from him (: Oh, and there's Mr Choo too, yesterday.

I'll tell you what, History is very applicable in real life. Of course, it helps us understand most of the conflicts happening today, which are mostly protraction of what happened in the past. But here, I'm talking about understanding life in general. The conflict yesterday is eerily similar to some conflicts between nations, those that get protracted. It's true, the Cold War didn't start all the way until after WWII because prior to that, both US and USSR were isolationist and did not interact with each other. Same goes to individuals, sometimes, interaction leads to conflicts.

I don't really care anymore about them. They can say whatever they want, but apparently, I DON'T understand them, and THEY don't understand me either. So I'll just have to continue with what I had been doing, which had been quite a progress and quite fun if not for what they said yesterday.

SAY WHAT YOU WANT! I'M DONE WITH YOU.

I don't think they will read this la -_-" But even if they do, WHATEVER.

Haha. I suddenly remember that I should be grateful of times like this, cos only in these times that I can differentiate between true friends and not (:

And just as I was typing, I received another encouraging message from KS in my phone ;) I love you dear! (:

-vNs-

I walked in the rain today, purposely getting myself soaked from head to toe when there's an umbrella in my bag. It was a drizzle when I exited school, and turned to a heavy downpour by the time I got home.

The first and last time I did that was when I got my heart broken, a long time ago. I think I had it broken again today, because of a very different reason.

I'm giving up on CCA. At least, I'm giving up putting my heart and soul into it. I've had enough. Don't shoot back at me and corner me, saying that you are not blaming me when you make it seem that way. I want to talk to you one on one, right? Gang up on me, great. For all that I know, your senior ensemble coordinator is no more. What's left is an empty shell, a walking corpse.

I can much better put my heart into something else. Into my own private guitar playing, for one.

And today is supposed to be a happy day. I won't let what happened earlier affect what is going to happen later (: My first date with my "new" boyfriend: the bald KS :P :P hahas xD

I'm just wondering.

How come it's only today that I realise the beauty and grace of thunder? I've always been scared of its loudness, but today, the sound echoes with my heart. Or rather, it resonates with my heart, making me feel less lonely. And then I heard the fugue, thunders chasing one another non-stop, fusing into a melodious chorus.

The greatest concert is performed by nature. The fugue of thunder is accompanied by lightning as lightings at its best, the wind as its backstage crew and the leaves as its props. A performance that touches the heart and soul of its audience, which, sadly, is not many. In fact, that was my first time realising such grand concert.

I think if I go to the IMH, I might be admitted in ;) Everyone is crazy by nature. Mental institutions are just places where people can truly express themselves.

And when my world crumbles down, the thought of you keeps me holding on to life.

-vNs-

"There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple... English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the
plural of choose?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?

Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on.

When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?"

I've changed! :D Well, I've changed "back", rather. It has been like more than a year since I can finish next week's homework on the previous week :P Dropping Physics is the correct decision after all, it REALLY does give me time to be more focused on my other subjects. At first I thought that if H1 is half of H2, that will mean that out of my 4H2 subject, dropping 1 H2 will be equivalent to dropping 1/8, or 0.125 of my burden, which doesn't seem like a lot. But hey. It feels like I've just dropped half of my subjects O.O Or a third, at least. I just hope I can maintain the momentum all the way until 29 November!! :D CHIONG!

Next. Physics assignment, Carboxylic Acids Tutorial and Sampling tutorial. History must wait until the lecturer finishes covering the current topic first before continuing with the outlines. Oh yea. Must start revising Cold War for next week's revision session!

Planning guitar concert is fun (: As long as you know who to mix and mingle with, that is. In fact, as long as I keep my distance off someone, I'll be able to maintain my mood -_-" It's not his fault he's like that, I guess, I just can't take it cos what he does is my pet peeve.

Almost done with the programme for concert. Three more groups to audition next week and we're all set! :D Decorations + booklet + poster designs ASAP, MCs and backstage crews to be recruited, and.....all the publication work, announcement and flyers to classes. It's fun planning an event you love with the friends you love (:

Huuh. Why didn't XJ want to play? :'((

I feel like getting a super-thin notebook to compile all concert matters X.X Apparently I don't think my small planner can take it. Haha.

Did some psychoanalysis thing. Lol. It's quite fun observing trends among people :P

Happy! (:

And tired. Zzz.

Sometimes I forgot that I have a blog.

Haha. Anyway, now I'm in a brink of a performance disaster. I mean, well, we'll be having guitar competition/concert this saturday. Last week, I had a mental disaster. Haha. All of a sudden, last week, I didn't feel like going for the competition anymore. Don't ask me why. I was just like suddenly so sian about the whole thing. But anyway, after three days of MC and almost a week of not seeing my guitar, I kind of rekindled my willpower and am ready to go for it. So I was happily reunited with my guitar today, and opened my guitar bag with a longing akin to one missing its lover.

Only to find the first string broken.

AAAAARGH.

So I spent the practice without the first string -_-"

Well, I do have a set of spare strings at home. Different brand from the current ones.

And...

I don't think I can condition the string by Saturday. As in, yes, condition, can, but not in top shape, most certainly. Ugh.

And then my friend also pointed out to me and wished for my foot to recover by Saturday, or I will have to perform in slippers and bandage -_-" xDxD

Ok. Actually the whole 'performance disaster' thing looks kind of funny to me. Just like how my body started rotting away last last week, starting with foot, arm, teeth, then flu. Bla3, just like an old machine crumbling away. LOL.

Seriously, it's funny xD

Looking more on the bright side, I got 37/50 for lecture compre test :P

"I'm blown away by the evaluation here (esp on this page). Full marks to you."

You don't get that everyday on your AQ :D Full marks was achieved by people before, maybe even me (I can't remember lol) but the comment :P *grows big-headed* Just kidding. Actually I find it weird. Ok, not weird, but strange. HAHA. As in, like, "Thank you, but why, thank you." Lol.

For once, achieving my target in GP for A Levels seems really possible. Haha.

Anyway. I need to do carbonyl tutorial like, by Thursday, and finish quantum by Wednesday. And yea, I'm like seeing doctor and taking care of my concert attire tomorrow, and Wednesday we'll have more exco interviews for the J1s. And remember that I'm crumbling away parts per body parts? Lol. Bless me.

Then again, I might just make it. For a reason.

I will survive~! (: And so shall you~! (:

--the end of T2W4's Monday; a day of an hour of GP, 2 hours of Chem, 2 hours of History and 2 1/2 hours of Physics. Plus CCA for today.

Pff. These days I don't even feel like playing games. I just want to sleep :/

-vNs-

I believe I've slept more than a baby does for the past 24 hours ._. Yeah, in addition to my foot problem (which is now much better! :D) now I got flu -_-" But yea, the foot's much better, just like in the state it was in before ushering. Slight pain, but much better compared to yesterday.

Anyway.

I used to kind of like 29 November, as it is my favourite soccer's player's birthday (: (Gosh, he's 37 this year!!! O.O) But I believe I'd love it all the more this year. 29 November 2010 will be the date of my LAST A LEVEL EXAM! :D :D :D :D :D

Oh, and second last paper's on 22 Nov -_-" Talk about protracted conflict -_-"

Here goes my A Level timetable! :D

These are my subjects,
GP H1 (8806)
Physics H1 (8866)
History H2 (9731)
Chemistry H2 (9647)
Mathematics H2 (9740)
but I also include these (which I will write in brackets):
Bio H2 (9648)
Econs H1 (8819)
Geog H2 (9730)
Phys H2 (9646)
as my best friend in class and KS are taking these subjects ;)

8 Nov
Hist paper 2, 2 pm
(Geog paper 1, 8 am)

9 Nov
Chem paper 3, 2 pm

10 Nov (Bio + GP :( )
GP paper 1, 8 am
GP paper 2, 10.15 am
(Bio paper 2, 2 pm)

11 Nov: TERRIBLE DAY O.O
Maths paper 1, 8 am
Hist paper 1, 2 pm

12 Nov
Maths paper 2, 8 am

16 Nov
Chem paper 2, 8 am

18 Nov
Phys H1 & H2 paper 2, 2 pm

(19 Nov)
(Econs paper 1, 230 pm)

22 Nov
(Bio paper 3, 8 am)
Chem paper 1, 2 pm

(23 Nov)
(Phys H2 paper 3, 8 am)

29 Nov
Phys H1 & H2 paper 1, 2 pm

(30 Nov)
(Geog paper 2, 2 pm)

(2 Dec)
(Bio paper 1, 8 am)

The rest of the timetable can be found in SEAB website. I just took out my subjects, Kally's and KS', which are quite the common subjects for the rest of the 29/09 people anyway.

For 2010 GCE A Timetable, click here.
For the list of subject codes, click here.

I would've liked History paper to be the only paper for the day, not together with Maths or anything at all -_-" But oh well, at least it's not Hist + GP = 2 language-based subjects in one day :/ And....yea, I should be grateful for my timetable. And I think history paper shouldn't be that draining after much practice I will have in Term 3 & 4, right? :P Unlike promos -_-"

Oh, timetable is subject to change, which usually never happens anyway *rolls eyes*

Haha. I've come up with targets for myself for A's (: Excluding MT and including PW, I have 6 subjects. Aiming for 3As and 3Bs. As for GP (haha I'm serious! xD it's my strongest subject for promos -_-"), Maths and Physics, and Bs for PW, Chem and Hist. PW results are coming out in like, two days time? O.O Ok. It will be nice to get an A for PW (: But a B will be fine too.

Ok, off to make a call! (:

Stay strong, everyone (including me)! (:

-vNs-

The weekend had left me so fed up with my body. Not in the vain way like the typical teenagers' I'm-so-fat, but more of its state of health. Stretched muscles on my foot which became worse over time, corroded soles and blisters, all these caused me to limp at times. AND I HAVE 2.4 KM RUN IN 2 DAYS. PLEASE. Then there's this stupid gastric-alike stomach pain which attacks me every few hours. And headaches, of course, but I'm used to this. Then there's toothache on the left side of my mouth which also attacks me every so often. Like, what the hell is wrong with me this weekend??

I'm considering my options. Like, go to school and pretend like nothing has happened, or skip school for one day and go see doctor for ALL the problems that I have and get enough rest to try to recover by the next day? Then again, I think I will just go for a jog tomorrow before school, and then go to school and pretend like I'm fine. I don't know. There's this stubborn girl inside me telling me that I only need to run for two more days, and then NAPFA is over, for good! Provided that I pass, of course, and that's why I need to jog tomorrow.

But what if training only makes my feet worse?

Sigh.

If only I can have my fitness from last year's pretest.

Ok. For now I shall take multivitamins, check a few things, ignore this stubborn throbbing in my head and get enough rest.

If loneliness can kill, this is the night.

-vNs-