Veronica VanessaIt was raining when I went home. I felt so tempted to walk under the rain and let it wash my mind of my sorrow. I chucked in my history notes inside my bag so it wouldn't get wet.
And then I surprised myself by going along with my better judgment and took out my umbrella instead. "It's two days before A Levels, vNs, and you already have a cough."
I remembered around the same time two years ago I walked slowly under the rain, feeling as blue as I could ever felt.
This time, it may not be of the same magnitude (yet?), but it is the same pain.
It is not the first time he said the same thing.'
When you tell a girl something that hurts her, it will stay. Even if you don't mean it, it's been said and done. And forgiving is easier than forgetting.
Everyone's stressed. Maybe I am too, although I've seen worse cases in many.
At times like this I'm reminded of why I came here.
People who are apart from you can't hurt you. Only those around you can.
The closer you are, the larger the chance of you getting hurt.
True, they say the joy multiplies too. But I know that in many cases, distance doesn't matter. In fact, distance helped me forge better relationships with many.
I'm scared. I'm out of my comfort zone. I've been out for more than a year. Most of the times, it's alright. It was nice.
But there are moments like this that makes me feel like running away as far as I can.
I was born a single fighter. Nobody can change me, not in a year. In twenty years, maybe, but will I last twenty years?
No more. No more until 29 November, 2pm.
After that I can cry a river, cry an ocean, who cares. I can drench myself under the rain, purposely walk out in a storm.
I just need to get through these three weeks first.
-vNs-